Across the Universe
by hotmilkytea
Summary: [2012] Tales from several different galaxies. A series of short-fics and drabbles set during season 4. (Update: 4.04: A necessary intervention.)
1. Beyond the Known Universe: Alien dating

this takes place potentially after _The Moons of Thalos 3_ , unless the turts get a breather-moment before that episode kicks off. but everything in here just deals with the events in _Beyond the Known Universe._

 _aka The Aftermath of Agrabah on Tatooine._

* * *

 **double star**

* * *

"So," Honeycutt says, when things are calmer, and they're licking their wounds. "Would you care to explain just what happened earlier? Anybody? No?"

He brandishes a mug of cocoa like he's about to either take a sip of it with his robot pinkie out, or smash it on somebody's foot. Leo casually shuffles so that his toes are as under his shell as they can be, and that most of him is behind the navigation pod he and Donnie had co-opted in their third escape in as many hours.

Honeycutt starts to walk around, surveying each one of them with his Suspicious Face ( _you see this?_ ** _Suspicion_** _._ ) "Nobody wants to tell me how the six of you managed to get on the wrong side of _an entire planet_ , in less than fifteen minutes?"

"Practise," Raph snarks, and Casey laughs, until the Suspicious Face turns into the Angry Face and Casey quickly shuts his mouth.

"I have a _hull breech_ ," Honeycutt says firmly — Leo wonders if _I_ refers to the ship, or if Honeycutt _is_ the ship. "And far too much organic _mess_ to mop up." True enough, there are big, gooey splatters all around the bridge. "So this had better have been worth it."

Leo looks from Raph, to Mikey, to Casey — all of whom look suitably guilty. And so does April, surprisingly enough, whereas Donnie looks absolutely innocent, and indignant about it too. "One at a time," Honeycutt orders, and one by one, Leo listens to everyone fess up — from the innocent ("That giant guy stomped past and the ground shook, and I dropped a crystal in the store," April says, ducking her head. "Sorry."), to the idiotic (Raph, and Casey — just… being Raph, and Casey) to the just plain _weird_ ("I punched out a cake," Mikey says, "but it was _totally asking for it_.").

Then everybody looks to Leo.

"There was— this girl," Leo begins, his face heating, and every single one of them, his brothers, April, Casey, _the Fugitoid_ , just goes, " _ohhhhhhh_ ," and nods in understanding, as though that explains everything.

Leo wishes he was an only child, sometimes. This is one of those moments.

Donnie clears his throat.

"Well," he says, the way Donnie does when he's trying to sidle out of things, like randori, or his kitchen chores, or being social when he wants to spend eight hours in the lab. "April and I were just caught in the crossfire, so we'll just—"

"The hologram, Donatello."

Donnie stops.

" _Ye-e-e-es_ ," Honeycutt says, his optics blinking into some attempt at raised, stern eyebrows. "I assume you simply _forgot_ to pay for it?"

"Um," Donnie says. His fingers twitch. "In fairness, we were already being shot at _before_ I stole it."

"He has a problem," Leo adds. "We're working on that."

In the end, they all end up fixing the hull, and Donnie's grousing ( _I do not have a problem, Leonardo, I am an opportunist, there is a_ difference), and the fascinated delight in Honeycutt's voice as they find out that there is a coagulant in turtle vomit that makes the perfect adhesive — _just_ look _at that_ bonding _!_ Lovely _stuff!_ — and the miserable whining as Raph space-crawls back into the airlock to hurl again, all add to the headache that Leo has been quietly cultivating since the first or second time he had Mikey slamming straight against his skull.

He refuses dinner, and takes a shower. It's sonic, and the soft whirring just irritates him more, and there's no hot water to run against his shoulders to soothe his muscles. He gives up once he's sure that the last few flakes of insectoid are gone, and slopes towards the small little room that Honeycutt assigned him.

The bedrooms are all closer to the hold, in a quieter part of the ship, with private rooms as well as a big open living quarter that's empty aside from two: Donnie — maintaining a respectful distance this time — and April, talking quietly about constellations: " _and right over there, you see that one? That would be Deneb Algedi, part of the Capricorn constellation_ —"

Leo almost facepalms. He manages to hold it in until he makes it to his room, and then he does. The slap stings, the noise echoes off of his palm and the strange, not-quite-plastic, not-quite-metal walls.

She'd just been his type — tall, with sharp eyes, and a mouth that could kill him.

He'd missed that.

( _Six months back-and-forth, Karai was still a snake, and still roaming New York, with a mouth and a heart that tried to kill them all, with fangs and venom and blood and anger and he couldn't save her then, and Leo doesn't know if, when all this is done, he can even save her at all_.)

* * *

 **#pray4karai. also, #pray4honeycutt as he has to deal with these six little cherubs for the next 20 episodes.**


	2. The Moons of Thalos 3: Y'Gythgba

this was written after the big Mona-Y'Gythgba issue on Tumblr.

this takes place the morning after _The Moons of Thalos 3_.

* * *

Fugitoid's ship has these replicator things on them that zap you a plate full of hot food out of space-light. Leo practically wet his shell over them, the first time Honeycutt had showed off just what he could make ( _Now, rumour has it that you boys quite like pizza – so go on! Ask!_ and oh boy did they receive), but all Raph really cares about, in his post-morning-training exhaustion, is the fact that it will give him a plate full of bacon and eggs, with none of Mikey's weirdness attached.

Donnie's next in; he shuffles, rotating his left arm, and asks the replicator for black coffee. " _And_?" Raph prompts around a mouthful of bacon.

"…and toast," Donnie says grudgingly, as though the concept of eating breakfast is an actual chore.

" _With_?"

Donnie sighs. "With butter. And an egg. Soft-boiled."

"That's better."

The replicator makes a weird _flash-zap_ noise, and Donnie pulls up a chair opposite Raph, already starting to neatly cut his toast into soldiers.

A bright, cheerful sticker is on the top-left scute of his plastron:

 **HELLO! MY NAME IS  
DEE  
NICE TO MEET YOU**

Raph squints at it.

While he's squinting, **HELLO MY NAME IS LEO NICE TO MEET YOU** walks into the room, asks the replicator for a bowl of cereal, and he sits next to Donnie, already digging into the closest thing the replicator can make to Cinnamon Toast Crunch. His sticker is on the top-right, in big blocky handwriting. Raph glances, from Leo's to Donnie's, and realises that they're _colour-coded._ Donnie's is purple, Leo's is the same, boring, _responsible_ shade of blue he always goes for, in everything. "Am I missing something?" Raph asks, jabbing accusingly at Leo's plastron with an egg-stained fork. "What, did I miss a freshman party?"

They look at each-other, and Donnie shakes his head, stacking his pieces of toast into two neat little piles before sawing off the top of his egg with a spoon. "No," he says, in that fake-innocent tone of voice he's got. "Just, y'know." He dunks a piece of toast into the yolk. "Trying to be good brothers."

"What does that even _mean_?" Raph asks. Donnie shoves food into his mouth. "Did Mikey hit his head?"

"Hey, you didn't even need the sticker!" says **HELLO! MY NAME IS M*I*K*E*Y! NICE TO MEET YOU** , as he bombs into the room. He doesn't even need to ask, the replicator just shits out a cream-and-syrup-laden pancake monstrosity, and Mikey plops himself down next to Raph. His sticker is orange. "Nice going, Raph! One step at a time, you'll get there! Next, we're gonna start you on," he leans in close, making a wave with his hand as he finishes the sentence with, " _triple-_ syllabubs."

"Syllables," Donnie corrects. "It's a learning curve, but practise makes perfect!"

"What practise? _What perfect!?"_

"Good morning, gentlemen!" Fugitoid's eyes blink into a sunny, cheerful expression, and he's followed into the room by **HELLO MY NAME IS April NICE TO MEET YOU** , her bright yellow sticker almost indistinguishable against her space-suit, but the black sharpie writing is clear enough – she even drew a skull over the _i_ of her name. "Good training session?"

Donnie and Leo both have their mouths full, but they offer Honeycutt a thumbs-up each.

"Marvellous!" the robot – cyborg – android – _whatever_ – says, cheerfully. "Tea, anyone?"

Leo raises his hand at the same time April says "I will!" and the Fugitoid starts to busy himself with a kettle, humming quietly to himself. In one of the shiny metal walls of the mess hall, Raph can see that he, too, is wearing a sticker.

"Okay, out with it already – what's with the name-tags?"

"Like Donnie told you, Raph," says Leo. "We're just trying to be good, helpful people!"

"Helpful my butt. Helpful to _who_?"

Just as quickly, Donnie's smile vanishes, and the look on his face is flatter than the last pancake on Mikey's plate. "To the neanderthal sitting at the table who can't handle more than three syllables at a time? _Mona Lisa_? Seriously?"

"Okay _her real name is impossible_ ," Raph shoots back, immediately, defensively.

"Y'Gythgba?" Donnie asks, glancing to Leo who shrugs.

"Yeah I thought it was pretty easy too, once she laid it out for us. Y' _Gyth_ gba."

Then Mikey joins in, stretching the whole word out. " _Eeeee-githhhhhhg-baaaaaaaah,_ " he says, before dropping into the main riff of Barbara-Ann.

Raph punches him, a solid clonk on the bicep of his left arm, and over the yelping, carries on: "You were _talking_ to her?" he asks, and can't stop the run of jealousy in his chest – as well as insecurity. What did she say about him? Did she talk about him at all? Did she say he was _cool_ , did she talk about his nose?

( _Did she talk about his nose?_ )

"Yeah, that's usually what you _do_ when you make conversation with someone. Hello, how are you, thanks for not killing us, oh hey what's your name…" Leo counts them off on his fingers. "It's called being polite."

Donnie shrugs. "We had to do _something_ while you were out cold all that time. Did you know that the Salamandrians–"

"Can you _not_ nerd up my girlfriend?"

Mikey instantly does a wolf-whistle, except it does it with his whole mouth, a _woo-woOOOOOooooo_ that makes Raph's shell crawl with not-quite-embarrasment, but a lot of _SHUT UP MIKEY_. But Mikey _never_ shuts up, especially not when you really, really want him to, and over the sound of Mikey making constant kissy noises – and that wasn't even the _way_ Mona kissed him, at all – Raph asks, "so– wait, was she _mad_ that I called her Mona Lisa?"

"I think she was more annoyed when Casey asked her exactly how prehensile her tail was," Leo says, then drains the milk from his cereal.

April, still across the room and out of the line of fire, chokes on her tea.

Raph stares. "What."

"Oh, dude, that reminds me!" Mikey chimes in, still rubbing his arm. "So like, if you and her are _giiiiiiiirlfriends_ now because she punched you, does that mean that you and Casey are gonna hook up?"

" _What_!?"

"Because, like, you do you, brah, but between you and me and like, this whole table, you can do waaaaay better than that. What about Fishface? He used to beat you up all the time! Donnie could give him the retromutagen when we get back, I bet he'd totally be down!"

"ARE YOU INSANE– _don't answer that_ – WHY WOULD I– I'm not _Leo_ , I'm not constantly logging in to _PlentyOfNinjas_ to see who wants to slit my throat toda–"

"Do you _really_ want to keep talking, Raph?" Leo asks, his voice icy-cold.

"Yeah, actually, I do!"

"Consider stopping."

"Consider _getting off my ass_ , Leo, how about that?"

"You know," says Mikey, but they never know what Mikey was about to say, because Donnie covers his mouth, jerks his head to the open door, and finally, the last member of the group waltzes through.

"Goooooood morning!" says **HELLO MY NAME IS CAPTaiN BaDa$$** , still shirtless after his shower, his sticker stamped onto the stupid bandana he wears around his forehead, and Raph just gives up, yells incoherently, kicks his chair, and stomps out.

* * *

things i regret: not this.


	3. The Weird World of Wyrm: Three wishes

an alternate ending to _The Weird World of Wyrm._

if Leo had gone back for Wyrm's prison: a tale told in three wishes.

* * *

 _"Hey, did you guys hear a voice?"_

* * *

 _Wish 1:  
_ "I wish we had the black hole device already."

* * *

"Oh dear," Fugitoid said. "Those Triceraton ships are _awfully_ cross."

"NO KIDDING," Casey bellowed, mashing his fist against the weapons array controls. "APRIL WHAT ARE YOU DOING, PLAYING KISS-CHASE? _GET OUT OF THEIR WAY_."

" _I DON'T HAVE MY LICENSE_ ," April yelled back. She and Donnie were running evasion, the ship ducking and weaving erratically through a cloud of Triceraton battle cruisers. The viewscreen was snowing with static every few seconds, juddering and flickering, and as the ship rocked again (" _Shields at 14%, Captain_!"), one of the Triceratons appeared on-screen.

"Stand down your defences and prepare to be boarded!"

Raph, in full view of the camera, said "Oh yeah? Board _this_!", turned around and swatted his ass at them.

"HEADS DOWN, HORNS UP," shouted fifty Triceratons.

The video ended.

" _that's the way we like to_ — _whoa-ho-ho_!" said Mikey, as the ship rocked as a torpedo slammed into the hull.

"We've been hit!" Donnie yelped. "Again! Major hull breech — Professor, what do we _do_?"

Wyrm looked mildly interested as alarms started to blare.

Above Leo, one of the panels exploded, and a thick cable slithered out, crackling with thick blue electricity. The ship jolted again, and Leo stumbled for his balance, clinging to a bulkhead and only able to watch, horrified, as the wire went swinging directly into the back of Fugitoid's head.

Fugitoid screamed and babbled, his circuits whistling, and then he slumped, silent. Smoke gently wisped from the top of his head, and even through the acrid stink of smoke and fire, Leo could also smell cooked meat.

"We need to get off this ship," April said, her voice shaking. The heel of her palm was digging into her temple. Through the smoke, Leo could hear Donnie wheezing, snapping orders while Fugitoid continued to twitch and fritz; silent, and gone, and his brothers started to make for the escape pods.

"You could always make another little _wish_ ," Wyrm singsonged.

* * *

 _Wish 2:  
"I wish we were home with Sensei and Karai."_

* * *

"Leo," Donnie said nervously, looking at the lair, then at his tPhone. "Leo, Leo this is bad, we didn't bring the black hole device with us and—"

"We're home," Raph said, his voice soft, and yes, they were. The pinball machine was still intact, the beanbag was dumped in the pit, there was a half-eaten slice of pizza on a plate on the couch. Everything smelled dusty and damp and like _home_.

Leo's heart clenched. His throat suddenly felt so tight, and he didn't trust himself to speak. "Do," Mikey cleared his own throat, and Mikey's voice was soft, scared and full of wonder at the same time. "Do you think— sensei is home?"

The light was on in the dojo.

"I'll go check," Leo said. "You guys check the lair, make sure that— make sure we're actually home."

"Leo," Donnie said again. "Leo, wait, where _are_ we?"

"That's what I'm going to find out—"

"No, you're not _listening to me_." When Leo met Donnie's face, Donnie's face was a tight mask — afraid, and nervous, and desperate. "Leo, we're _time-travellers_. We can't _be_ here because we already _are_ here; if—"

A bubble appeared around Donnie's head, muffling his words until Donnie stopped talking and resorted to waving his phone around, pointing at the date until his hands turned into buckets of fried chicken.

Casey tried to steal a piece.

April slapped his hand away, the sound echoing around the lair like a whip-crack.

"Oh, don't let him spoil your fun, boys!" Wyrm sat on top of the TV, on the couch, on the air-hockey table. "All you need to do now is think about what your third, last-and- _definitely_ -least final _wish_ is going to be!"

"First, I'm going to go check on sensei." Leo glanced at Raph, whose mouth was already open to protest. _Watch the Wyrm_. They may not be able to wish to hurt the Wyrm, but Leo could definitely _order_ Raph to hurt the Wyrm if this wish turned out like the last one.

Raph nodded once.

Leo leapt across the lair in two bounds, peering into the kitchen to check it was clear before turning to the stairs.

Dread started to pool in his stomach: what if Wyrm had played them?

But, what if when he looked into the dojo, there was sensei, and there was Karai, healthy, whole and sane, her body her own, her _mind_ her own: father and daughter, father and _sister_.

He glanced back to his brothers, all of them watching him, and nodded firmly, taking the steps two at a time and then halting at the door.

He couldn't stop the soft, muted sob in his throat.

Sensei, silent and still, in front of the shrine, eyes closed, soft tendrils of incense curling up into the air around him. Warm and breathing and alive. "Master Splinter," he choked, taking one stumbling step into the dojo. The carpet was soft and worn beneath his toes.

"Leonardo?" said Splinter, turning. Leo felt his eyes sting — _his father, his name in his father's voice_ — and nodded, his hand clapped to his mouth to keep himself from bawling like a little boy.

" _Tadaima_ ," he said, voice weak and tearful.

Splinter smiled, the whiskers on the right side of his mouth lifting as his cheek bunched. " _Okaeri nasai_ , my son. You are home early," Splinter got to his feet, testing the weight on his bad leg before walking closer, and Leo could feel his heart twisting, pounding, trying to stay as composed for as long as he could before he knew he would break and launch himself into his father's arms and _cling_. "Did your mission succeed?"

"Our mission?" Leo asked, squinting through tears. "Yeah. Yeah, I think it did. Sensei, I—"

He stopped. Outside, he heard Mikey — " _aw yeah, son! Did you see how I like, stomped Fong so hard he farted? It was like a butt symphony_!" — and the usual post-patrol chatter. He remembered that conversation: a run-in with the Purple Dragons on their way home; no Hun, just the usual three losers, who'd been roughing up a couple of tourists before Raph decided to give them a really awesome story to take home with them.

A thin ribbon of ice wrapped around his heart.

Mikey was home.

Mikey was _already_ home.

 _We're time-travellers._

He'd seen this episode of _Space Heroes_ before. Stupid, _stupid_.

Splinter's eyes narrowed, his ears pointed up, as outside, Leo heard nine voices — Casey, April, his brothers, his brothers, and him. "What is this?" Splinter demanded, gently easing Leo aside as he stepped outside. "What is going on, I— _my sons_."

From behind his father's protection, Leo looked to his brothers, watching the terror in Donnie's faces as it began. All versions of his brothers — both Raphs, both Mikeys, both Donnies — shuddered and stuttered, their bodies blurring. Splinter shouted, something horrified and urgent that was lost under the pounding of Leo's own heart as he watched, unable to move, and he could hear the frightened screams from April, and Casey, and his other self.

As one, his brothers moaned, long, low, chilling, the sound of galaxies dying and universes rotting. Their faces were gone, replaced with sucking, gaping black holes, pulling in everything around them, breaking matter into atoms, and atoms into less, and while his brothers' faces tore themselves and everything around them apart, Leo could hear her, hissing and angry and lost and hungry — "Karai!" he said, as she threw herself out of the darkness, onto Splinter and sank her teeth into his throat. "KARAI _NO_."

"I have always found that temporal paradoxes," said Wyrm, lazily examining his fingernails, as Leo looked into his own face and started to tear, "can be quite tricky."

* * *

 _Wish 3:_

Karai hisses and her teeth are red

his brothers moan through the black holes in their faces

his father chokes on blood and venom

and somewhere, in a voice that isn't his, Leo knows what the third wish has to be:

 _"I wish we never found that stupid hypercube in the first place!"_

"AGAIN?" screeches Wyrm

and the world rewound.

* * *

"Hey, did you guys hear a voice?" Mikey said, a few paces into the shipwreck.

Raph shook his head. "Nope."

"I didn't hear anything either," April said, but she rubbed her upper arms with her hands. "But this place give me the creeps. And like, not just haunted house creeps but serious bad-vibes alert."

"Yeah," Donnie said, his voice scattering with the ship's own interference. "We've already played this videogame. It's called _Dead Space_ and none of us could sleep for a week after it. So _this_ game is called, _nothing is here, we're going back to the ship now_. C'mon, Mikey," he added, latching a finger into the back of Mikey's space-jetpack and kicking off into space.

Leo watched them go, each of them getting smaller and smaller as they propelled themselves towards the airlock, listening to the chatter over the commlink:

 _"Dude, I had the weirdest dijon-voodoo thing back then."_

" _Deja-vu,_ " Donnie corrected, " _and that's probably indigestion, Mikey. I'll get you some antacid when we get back_."

"Leo, are you coming?"

He looked up to see April, hovering in space. She held her hand out to him.

"Yeah," he said, glancing once back into the ruined ship before turning off his anti-grav boots. "wait up."

Something screamed, furious, _outraged_ , but Leo didn't hear it.

* * *

 **:3 now let us pray we never, ever, find out what Raph or Mikey would have wished for.**


	4. The Outlaw Armaggon: An intervention

set after _The Outlaw Armaggon_. because this is beyond needed at this point.

behold my salt.

* * *

It had been a while since Donnie's last science kick, but since they'd gotten over the initial shock of _hey our planet's dead_! and realised that they were in _SPAAAAAACE_ , Donnie's level of nerd had reached critical.

If he wasn't in the astrophysics lab, he and the Fugitoid — and sometimes April — would be huddled over some monitor or another babbling about _SCIENCE_! (Donnie's words, not Leo's) or discussing the latest, greatest alien technology. Now, Donnie had called them all into the common room, practically vibrating with excitement and a gleam in his eye that Leo didn't quite trust, and was handing out pieces of paper. Leo didn't look at his copy, and set it down instead on the table in front of him. He settled into his seat, ready to look as though he was paying attention while actually turning his brain off for a while.

He loves Donnie. He does. But sometimes, Donnie is just so… _Donnie_.

"Gentlemen," said Donnie, before bowing to April the way he always did when he said, "…and lady," and then smiling at Raph in that way he always did when he wanted to be a particular level of brat, "and Raphael, _and_ Jones, thank you for coming here today."

"Nice," Mikey said quietly, over Raph's far less polite invitation for Donnie to go jump out of the airlock. "Hear that? We're _gentlemen_."

"Now, once you've got your handouts, we'll get started — there's one for you, and one for you, and— Mikey! That is NOT an aeroplane! — and if there are any questions, please don't hesitate to raise your hand."

Mikey raised his hand.

"Is this an actual question?"

"No."

"Put your hand down, Mikey."

Once everybody was ready, Donnie turned, pointing a clicker to the main screen in the room, where happy little gifs of Donnie's and Fugitoid's heads bopped around in a weirdly-adorable screensaver. "And remember," Donnie said, "if you're going to tweet, please use the hashtag #StopLeo2015."

Leo blinked, startled out of his lazy Donnie-tolerance into full attention. "Wait, what?"

Fugitoid made a falling _bloop_ sound, and the lights dimmed as the screen flared, the first slide flickered up, and the science began:

* * *

 **OBSERVATION OF CHRONIC HERO SYNDROME IN THE POST-ADOLESCENT MUTANT TURTLE.**  
Honeycutt, Zayton; Hamato, Donatello

* * *

 **INTRODUCTION:  
** Adequate psychological analysis is not yet available in _Malaclemys terrapin sapiens_ due to the endangered nature of this species, and this research is expected to become more necessary in the near future, in order to enable timely intervention should the subject ( _M. terrapin sapiens_ subject _L1_ ) continue to cause his family emotional distress over his constant need to throw himself into danger because he watched way too many action movies when he was six.

 **OBJECTIVES:  
** The primary objective of this study is to find out exactly what Leo's problem is.

 **METHODS:  
** Observation of primary subject L1's behaviour when faced with extreme danger; retrospective reflection upon subject's previous actions on Earth; comparison of L1's cognitive decision-making to other similar taxonomic subjects ( _M. terrapin sapiens_ subjects _D1, M1, R1_ ; _H. sapiens sapiens_ ; _H. sapiens kraangiens_ ); denial of subject's access to the Insanity mode in the holodeck.

 **RESULTS:**  
Research indicated that L1's ability to not go off on his own at idiotic moments was limited. L1 displays continued disregard for own personal safety especially when victory has extremely low probability and/or coolness level is considered to be higher than zero. L1 displays decreased ability for self-preservation and logical thinking at these times when compared to other subjects. L1 tried to fight a space shark ( _Carcharodon galaxias galaxias_ ) in protective armour using two swords while on a spacewalk and was surprised when _C. galaxias galaxias_ chewed through his lifeline. L1 is an idiot.

 **C** **ONCLUSION:  
** L1 is clearly suffering from Chronic Hero Syndrome. L1 needs to stop. L1 needs to be stopped.

 **RECOMMENDATIONS:  
** L1 should be sat down and informed what effect these actions have upon his family, and asked how he would feel if another specimen of _M. terrapin sapiens_ decided to go punch out a kaiju. L1 should also be reminded that he is a ninja, not a samurai. L1 should not be allowed to watch _Space Heroes_ until further notice unless with appropriate adult supervision.

* * *

The final slide was just splashed with **#StopLeo2015** along with an adorable picture of a sad Mikey, and the lights went back on.

Donnie was smiling; somewhere, above the embarrassment and humiliation, Leo could just about tell it was the smile Donnie did when he was feeling really, really smug about something. "Any questions?" he asked brightly.

"Dude," Raph said, somewhere behind Leo, somewhere just above the pounding blood in his ears. "Did you literally just use _science_ to call Leo out?"

Preening, Donnie leaned back, bracing one hand against the desk, and examined his fingernails. "Maybe."

"That is a whole new level of dork, even for you." And then Raph stood up, and Leo refused to look at him but he could practically hear tears in Raph's eyes and could imagine Raph grasping at his heart, looking at Donnie with tearful, tender love and awe and just being so impressed with the little shit. "You made me _care about_ _science_ , man. I just. I _just_ —"

Leo turned around, but missed being able to give Raph an absolutely poisonous look, because Raph was now fake-sobbing on Casey's shoulder, blowing his nose in Casey's bandana. And they were all just _missing the point_ , they didn't _get_ it–

 _Enough_ , Leo thought, and got to his feet. "I am _not that bad_ ," he said hotly, and instantly, four voices shot back:

" _THE TECHNODROME_."

"That was one time!"

* * *

 **#StopLeo2015**


End file.
